Reductio ad Absurdum (Christiaan)

When i wuz in nursery school
They took away the finger-paint because it tasted so great
They replaced it with chocolate pudding,
Oh, well, al least that's what they told us.

Chorus: BEER! I hate BEER! It's such a waste.

From what i've learned through traveling the world
Is that nothing really happens it's all just for effect.
Nothing important ever has to be done
As long as there's an easy way to cover it up.

Chorus

And when we're all dead, you'll expect that you'll be safe.
But in the end, will you still be afraid.

Coach 1970 (Christiaan & Jeremy)

Happy, got a lot of luck. Too Bad, everyone else sucks.

Chorus: So far, so wrong. I can't go on like this. You make me sick.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see if you love me anymore.

Someday, kill off all your friends. Make sure you never make amends.

Hey dred, got a big stick. Show off, all your dirty tricks.

Walk thru your little door. I can't stand you any more.

Attack of the PigMan (Christiaan)

She's really ugly and she wears a wig. She isn't funny and she talks like a pig.

Chorus: Arrive to class on time don't step out of line. Attack of the PigMan. Attack of the PigMan.
Isn't she so divine, covered in mud and slime? Attack of the PigMan. Attack of the PigMan.

Look in her closet and you'll find a broom stick. She's just a pig, disguised as a which.

She makes everything seem so hard. We're all left with permanent scars.

When she talks all i hear is a squeel. She tries to control how everyone feels.

Givre (Tim)

I don't really care if you call me a creak. It don't really matter if you think i'm a freak.

Were would you be if i wasn't here. You'd be drownin' in a puddle of fear.

Is there something wrong with what i have to say? Why am i cursed 'cuz i shop at the Bay?

I don't like baywatch but it sit in the sun. I don't like school 'cuz i like to have fun.

Star Wars (Tim)

life is just a memory, a sweet, sweet dream, i can make it sweeter than sweeter can be.
i can tell a story i can make you laugh. i can make your grandmother shake to the toe.

i can sing a melody about our love. i can make you happy, i can give you the glove.
if you're thirsty i can give you a drink. make you so happy that you'll never leave me.

i can take you're love, i can take ya to the place where the dead men go,
where it flows with milk and honey .you can be my honey bunch.

i can take you to the sea of love, i can take you there and i can make you drown.
you can drown in your sins and sorrows. i won't save you, didn't listen to me.

life is just a memory a sweet sweet dream. i can make it sweeter than sweeter can be.
come into my workshop, my workshop of love. Tighten your bolts with a monkey wrench.

we share a passion, a passion for STAR WARS and the brady bunch.
we don't care for robert munch. give us some money and we'll give you some lunch.

I Got a Duck (Tim)

i got a duck and it's name is bob

i got a duck and a McDonald's store.
i got a duck and it drowned in it's water.

i got a duck and he pooed in our bass drum.
i got a duck that smokes a cigar.

George Gray (Tim)

george gray and his friends, me and jeremy. he's got weird ones like pat.

george gray and his Adam's apple pie. he's gunna bake it and put it out to dry.

george gray and his will of iron horn. he's gunna put it in his horn and blow.

george gray and his people like us. he's got lots of funny faces to put on.

I Me & the Ketchup (Tim)

hey mister ketchup man will you knock on my door.
i've got a craving a craving for more of it.
where is it and where did it go
and there may be some, some at the store.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize: I Me & the Ketchup.

an egg mcmuffin and please hold the fridge,
cuz' i'll trade in my ear for stereo sound.
back in the ketchup again.
well put it back or can you not see?
back in the ketchup again.

from where i sit the view's pretty good.
got plenty of ketchup and fries form McCain.
you stole the ketchup man and now look at me.
my lack of ketchup is driving me insane.
you stole the ketchup now look at me.

Darcy the Sane (Christiaan)

i got a big car, but i ain't goin' nowhere. got a loaded gun that i shoot into the air.

dive in the earth, roll underground,
swim in the core but don't make a sound,
jump in the air, run through the sky,
i've been to the end and the world's gunna fry.

i pass all the cars in the fast lane, i count all the stars in and pretend to be sane.

i need a change, i need to break free, but a telephone and pretend to talk to a tree.

the price of thinking is much too costly, buy a telephone and why don't you talk to a tree.

Sugar & Spice (Christiaan)

forget it

Playdoe (Christiaan)

i eat playdoe

it's kinda salty don't you know

it's pretty gross when it's coming out your nose

it's pretty squishy between your toes

yeah it's kinda funny, when you think about it.
i'm kinda silly and a putty addict.

Something Like Cheese (Tim)

mom found the cat in the microwave, trouble's gunna come around.
hey! fatboooy, tonight you'll find your pride.

what do you think of cinderella, now that she's lost her shoe.
fat fairy godmother tells her what to do.

there's nothin' wrong with bein' fat.
i don't like your mother's hat.

hey! fatboy i didn't say i didn't like your hair.
hey! fatboy i didn't say i didn't like your smell.

WARNING: this product contains glucose amalcamus and some great locus bean gum.